Lifestyle

Be your own valentine.

February 14, 2015

Valentines day is always so centred on couples expressing their loves for one and other, and while I’m all for that, I also think we should all express some self love this valentines day (ooer! Not like that you dirtys).
It’s difficult and I’m still working hard at it, but learning to love myself is something I’m paying attention to a lot this year, so I thought I’d share a bit about what I’ve learned so far so you too can be your own valentine:

• Take some me time.

Valentines day is a brilliant time to do this. Whether that be to pamper yourself for a big date, or if your a singleton like me, pamper yourself for a nice evening of Netflix and take away, it’s a great excuse. Not everyone has the time to spend hours soaking, scrubbing and spoiling oneself every week, but today, you have a brilliant excuse.

• Thank your body. It’s easy to pick at the pieces of yourself that you don’t like. It’s not easy to push them aside and list all the things you do, but believe me, it helps. I find it helpful to thank my body for functioning every single day without me even thinking about it. My body moves and breaths without me ever consciously telling it to, yet I still pick at it for being fat or ugly- how is that fair? It’s not, so now I don’t. You have one body, no matter what, so give it it’s dues.

 

• Banish the negative thoughts. I’ve been reading Amy Poehler’s ‘Yes Please‘ and she has a fair bit about this. She describes the voice in the back of your mind as a demon, and I think thats the perfect name for them: “You are six or twelve or fifteen and you look in the mirror and you hear a voice so awful and mean that it takes your breath away.” It tells you that you are fat and ugly. The voice that talks badly to you is a demon voice. And the scary part is the demon is your voice.” This demon may always be there, but you need to know when to tell it to shut up. I’ve found that on the days when my demon just won’t shut up, it’s best to let it get on with it and dismiss everything she says. Every morning when I’m done getting ready, I stand in my mirror and say ‘I love myself unconditionally right now’, and while I don’t always believe it, saying it and making it real words sometimes scares the demon enough to keep her at bay that day. As Amy says “Even demon’s gotta sleep“.

 

• Learn to appreciate your own company. I’m not going to lie, this one was pretty easy for me. I quite like being alone, but it is easy to slip into a circle of self doubt and hate when there is no one there to stop you. This is the time you should appreciate yourself for all of your quirks and traits, you don’t need someone there to validate you. You validate you.

• Be yourself. Everyone wants to fit in, and for some people it’s really easy, and for others it’s just not. I’m one of the ‘just not’s, so believe me when I say, it takes a lot just to be you. But it’s so worth it. When you’re not being you, you tend to surround yourself with people who like that fake version, so when you slip, it all falls apart. Since just coming to terms with the fact I’m a massive geek who doesn’t really understand social situations, I’ve found people who not only don’t care about this, but like it. It’s nice to be appreciated by others, It helps you appreciate yourself.

• Respect your mind and body. I’ve found that since I’ve started using food as fuel rather than emotional stabilisers, my body has been much happier. I know that sounds strange, but your body is a machine and if you fill it full of rubbish, it can’t work to its full potential. The same goes for your mind. This kind of relates to ‘Banish the negative thoughts’, if you block those demons, figuratively or literally, they can’t poison your mind or body. It’s okay to be nice to you.

• Praise yourself. It’s good to be proud of yourself. I know when I do something I think is great, I feel way too big headed if I tell people, but that’s not cool. If your proud of something, shout it from the roof tops! If people think your big headed, let them, who cares? Not you, you’re too busy knowing how good of a job you’ve done.

• Fake it until you make it. It’s hard and you feel a little bit silly, and you won’t instantly believe it when you first start telling yourself you’re worthy of love and beauty- It takes time. But when you’re feeling horrible and you can’t quite take all the compliments you’re giving yourself, sometimes pretending you believe it helps. It gets to the point where you’ve faked it so much that you trick yourself into believing it for real. I’ve found this comes in handy when it comes to taking compliments, just accepting them and saying thank you is a lot easier than shooting people down when you believe you’re worth it, or are even pretending to believe.

 

 

Whether your having a romantic time with your other half, eating your body weight in pizza or having a skype-date-night, I hope you’re all well and wonderful.

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4 Comments

  • Reply Zoe Cayetano February 14, 2015 at 4:58 pm

    I totally agree! This is such a great post!

    Zoe
    http://www.thatszoe.com

    • Reply Jayde February 19, 2015 at 12:35 am

      Thank you very much Zoe!
      Hope you had a lovely day.

  • Reply wonderchebs February 14, 2015 at 9:29 pm

    These are things I'm also trying to learn, even though Scott's around almost all the time, I know that it wont be like that forever. I figured that I'm the only person who will always be in my life, so I may as well learn to enjoy being alone. You're so right, and it turns out that it's super fun once you decide to go just for it. And now I don't care if people think I'm vain, who cares. If I don't believe in me, who will. We all deserve to feel good about ourselves. Also, I'm spending Valetines day working, watching football then and eating fish and chips in bed with Netflix. Bliss.

    ps. super proud of you and love you so much forever x

    • Reply Jayde February 19, 2015 at 12:35 am

      I'm glad you're embracing you too. Take it from me, you're a pretty damn wonderful person and you deserved to be loved, especially by someone like you.

      I spent mine doing a 13hr shift followed by yummy Chinese food and Geordie Shore- Best valentines I've had since our anti-valentines sleepovers haha.

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